by Chris Ciardello

When faced with a problem, it often helps to grab someone and talk it out. This is a great collaborative strategy to problem solving. Everyone has a different personality, and everyone sees the world in a different light. What happens when the problem you have is with another person? A common answer is, “I just need to vent, to get this off my chest.” The drawback with handling your problem with another person is that it now becomes gossip. Gossiping is a cancer in any work or social environment. It builds walls and divides teams.

A major subject in many jobsites and workplaces is conflict resolution. Every work environment has conflict, but not every organization handles it the same way. That is why it’s a topic that should be discussed clearly with your employees Workplaces are full of diverse personalities who communicate in unique ways. These differences in personalities are what make conflict resolution an uncomfortable and touchy subject.

The first step to successfully deal with conflict is to bring both parties together and have a meeting of the minds. The parties involved in the conflict need to sit down and talk it out.

Prior to this meeting the ground rules need to be explained.

There are four ground rules to successful conflict resolution.

• Rule #1: Each side must listen fully to the other side before responding. Often times when one party is explaining something that is bothering them the second party will feel defensive and want to jump in and explain why they did XYZ in order to justify their actions. There is nothing more frustrating when someone interrupts you, especially when trying to resolve a problem. The first person listens to everything the other person has to say, and then the second person will have their opportunity to explain their side. This process is repeated until both sides have sufficiently made their case.

• Rule #2: Identify the issues clearly, professionally, and concisely. Unless the issue is identified, a resolution cannot be found. In most cases an unrelated frustration is taken out on a co-worker and this can cause some tension. In some cases this kind of tension can simmer and slowly build up to a boil making it extremely important to have open communication with your co-workers. You may not always know what is going on in another person’s life, so try not to jump to conclusions.

• Rule #3: When both parties meet to discuss their issues, they are only allowed to use “I” statements. “I felt ignored at the meeting this morning when I was trying to explain the details about XYZ.” Framing an issue you have with another person with an “I” statement helps to bring their defenses down so that a resolution can be found among the conflict. ‘You’ statements tend to put people on the defensive because they feel like their integrity is under attack.

“You never fuel up the equipment at the end of the day.”

“You never pick up the trash around the job site.”

When someone starts to get on the defensive they stop hearing everything that is being said. They are focusing on how to defend their integrity. “I” statements diffuse anger and assault.

“I get annoyed when I have to fuel up the equipment before beginning the day’s project.”

“I feel as though I’m the only one picking up trash at the end of the shift.”

When you bring the problem back to how it makes you feel it will bring guards down and a conversation can begin.

• Rule #4: The final and most important rule is that there are no personal attacks, name-calling or finger pointing. These are a sure fire way to get the other person on the defensive, and there is just no need for petty attacks. When voices rise, the control of the conversation is lost. This prevents both parties from being able to continue the conversation with a level head. As soon as the voices raise each side needs to pause (maybe even step a side for a few moments) to gain their composure so that a civil conversation may continue.

Having conflict on the job is ok. However, preventing conflict from turning into heated conflict is crucial to avoid division in your workforce. If a resolution cannot be found with the two parties sitting down and talking it out, then it is time to bring in a mediator. Whoever it is needs to remain as neutral as Switzerland. The mediator cannot and should not pick sides, and the same ground rules apply. Everyone wants to work in a comfortable environment, so it’s important to talk it out.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Chris Ciardello is a practice management consultant with Global Team Solutions. Passionate about sharing his expertise in technology and marketing, Chris has a distinctive knack for understanding the needs of work environments and assisting companies in building productive, cohesive teams. For more information on Chris Ciardello, please visit: www.GTSGurus.com.